No Bullshit Mayonnaise

One of my very least favorite things about making mayonnaise with a blender is the whole "very slowly pour in the oil in a super thin stream" part. It's far too meticulous for my liking. "It's so easy", they say..."it's fool proof!" Yeah. I call bullshit. Unless you have the patience to thinly pour out a cup of oil into a running blender for like thirty minutes, it's neither easy nor fool proof. I might just be incredibly challenged, but it's always a toss up whether or not I'm going to get that thick, glorious mayo consistency. More often than not, I end up getting too antsy (or my arm feels like it's going to fall off) and just dump the oil in too soon. And then I'm left with un-emulsified, broken mayonnaise and I've just wasted like $5 worth of avocado oil. Infuriating. Let's not even get into the whole old school, whisk-by-hand mayo method...HARD pass.

So by "no bullshit" mayo, I literally mean no bullshit. Immersion blender mayonnaise is a lazy chef's godsend. I will never ever make it any other way. Best part? It takes 30 seconds. No. Bull. Shit. If you don't have an immersion blender, I highly recommend you get one. They are an inexpensive kitchen tool and come in handy for many other uses outside of PERFECT mayonnaise (think: quick bulletproof coffee without having to pull out and clean up your blender, or pureeing soup directly in the pot, etc.). 

Pro tip: this special homemade condiment is what makes my chicken salad so dope. Ya heard it here.

Ingredients

  • 3/4 cup avocado oil or walnut oil
  • 1 large, room temperature egg (Yes, egg white included. Also, make sure the egg is room temp- it makes a difference! Just leave it out for 30 minutes to an hour before making the mayo.)
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • 1 tsp white vinegar
  • 1/2 tsp mustard powder
  • 1/2 tsp sea salt

Method

  1. In a tall, narrow jar (your immersion blender should have come with one...if not, find a mason jar that's mouth is wide enough to accommodate the circumference of the blender), crack in the egg, dump in the oil and add all remaining ingredients. Allow about 30 seconds for the egg to settle at the bottom of the jar.
  2. Plug in your immersion blender and stick it straight in the jar, all the way to the bottom. Turn it on high and let it do its thing undisturbed for 20-30 seconds. You will see magic happen right before your eyes!
  3. Once you see the creamy, mayonnaise consistency taking place and creeping up towards the top, slowly pull the head of the running blender up to towards the surface. Once the blades are towards the top, you can move and angle the blender around to make sure you emulsify any remaining loose oil.
  4. Store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to two weeks (kudos to you if it lasts that long....)

Yields: About 1 cup of mayonnaise