Chopped Broccoli Waldorf Salad

Because, like it or not, veggies are important. I know, I unfair...why can't we just healthfully survive on 3 lbs of bacon per day? I HATE having to restrict my daily bacon intake to just 1 lb to make room for vegetables......

Ok well actually that's not entirely true. Not the bacon part - I really do have bacon almost every day. I'm just dramatizing my distaste for veggies....some say I have a flare for the dramatic. I actually love veggies...but that's probably because I prefer to prepare them with satiating things like mayonnaise and butter and creamy dressings and sauces. Steamed broccoli? Gag. Boiled brussels sprouts? I'd rather sit in Los Angeles traffic during rush hour than eat that ish. Nah brah - I may eat more veggies than a vegetarian but I'm also seasoning and oiling the mother loving shiz out of them...and usually crumbling bacon all over whatever the vegetable at hand is. Because I live on the edge.  

Take this broccoli waldorf salad for example. It's delightful! It's as bright and flavorful as it is nutritious. And it's about as easy as Taylor Swift after a breakup. And yes...there is bacon in it. I hope you like it!


  • 1 head raw broccoli, cut into florets
  • 1/2 red onion
  • 1/2 cup red grapes
  • 1/4 cup mayonnaise
  • 1/4 cup walnuts
  • 3 strips cooked bacon
  • 3 tbsp dried cranberries
  • 1 tbsp coconut vinegar (apple cider vinegar will also work)
  • 1/2 tsp sea salt


  1. Place all ingredients in your food processor and pulse until coarsely chopped and combined.
  2. Enjoy!

Servings: 4-6