Orange Zest Cranberry White Chocolate Bark

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Over the last year or so, I've toned down the number of dessert recipes I've posted...and that's simply because I've come to prefer stuffing myself silly with things like meatballs as opposed to cookies. Nonetheless, you'll see them here and there as a reflection of the fact that we are all human and everyone needs a tasty indulgence every now and again.

Sure, it's true that - paleo or not - desserts aren't exactly "packing" in the nutritional arena. But what the $#%& ever! I mean, fine...if someone who is transitioning to paleo is under the impression that they're going to dramatically improve their health on a diet made purely of pastries made from almond flour and maple syrup, then perhaps they need a [gentle] reality check. But it drives me bonkers when I see paleo police guilt riding those who enjoy themselves a treat here and there. It's actually asinine some of the comments I see on certain bloggers' instagrams and websites of some Joe Shmoe @$$ clown being all "blah blah blah treats aren't paleo, cavemen didn't bake cupcakes, I'm a Debbie Downer who is probably displacing my anger on someone else because I still live with my mom" or whatever. Yeah, fine, cavemen may not have been baking cupcakes, but I'm also not going out into my backyard foraging for my own salad leaves and poopy mushrooms now, am I? Sooo stick that in your 100% natural with no added sweetener juice box and suck it!

I'm probably coming off as more heated than I actually am...alls I'm sayin' is instagram shaming, negative blog commenting and other forms of paleo bullying just ain't cool. I mean...let the woman have a slice of cake without pointing out that sugar is the devil! Hell, she should even be able to rub the icing all over her face and take a selfie if she damn well wants to. 

That's the holidays. And this festive white chocolate bark f$%#ing rocks. I made a big batch of it, broke it up and stuffed it into cute mason jars as a DIY Christmas gift for a few friends...go ahead and steal the idea! I won't tell. 


  • 8 oz raw cacao butter
  • 1/2 cup raw honey or pure B maple syrup
  • 1 tsp vanilla bean paste (vanilla extract works also)
  • 1 tsp orange zest
  • 1/3 cup dried cranberries


  1. Melt the cacao butter in a microwave safe bowl in 45 second increments, giving it a light stir in between. It will turn a liquid yellow...don't worry, when it hardens back up it'll turn white again. 
  2. Place the melted cacao butter in a blender along with the honey, vanilla bean paste and orange zest. Blend for about 20 seconds.
  3. In a parchment paper-lined baking dish (use two if the dish is smaller than an 8x8), pour in the cacao butter blend. Drop in about half of the cranberries and place in the fridge to set.
  4. After about an hour in the fridge (or when you can see the liquid chocolate turning from yellow liquid to white), take out the baking dish and drop the remaining cranberries on top. 
  5. Place back into the fridge until the chocolate has completely set. When ready, remove from the parchment paper and break into bark pieces with your hands. 
  6. Store in an airtight container at room temp for a softer chocolate or in the fridge for a firmer chocolate.